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I wish I could hold you.


Date to Memorialise: April 2023

To my baby,

I’m so sure you would’ve been a beautiful girl. There’s not a day that goes by where I don’t think of you. I hate myself for what I’ve done to you and it’s been a week, how am I supposed to go a life time like this? I realised that nothing can mend me but you. I wish I never ended your life. I can only imagine what you’d be, I look at babies and it hurts so bad because you will never be born. I can never hold you. I wish I would’ve fought the world for you. I should’ve done it myself without worrying about anyone or anything. Our life would never be perfect, but at least I’d have you with me. I can’t bring my self to be forgiven because of what I’ve done. Everytime I go to sleep, I dream of you and I’m awakened by the reality of what I’ did and cradle my belly where you once were. I look at the ultrasound and all I do is wish for you , cry and then go numb. I can only imagine what a perfect child you would’ve been and I never gave you a chance. I miss you so much. I miss you so much. I gave you a name cause I never want to forget you. I wish I could carry you in my arms baby, I wish I’d given you more time. I’m so sorry my love. I’ve been wishing a lot when it’s already too late… if I could go back in time and change that day I would, I would run away with you . I wish I was brave for you my baby. until I see you again, I’ll keep writing to you. You’ll always be my baby


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