Country: Wanganui, New Zealand Date to Memoralise: 16th December, 2021.
You left no footprint on this Earth.
You never even got a name.
I never got a photo of you in Palmy.
No ultrasound pic that day.
There may be no record of you,
It's like you were never there,
But to me you existed,
You were with me everywhere.
The shock, the fear, the sickness,
So indecisive and so scared.
I put my life on hold for you,
No Bootcamp and no running
Not many knew you were there.
I was scared of making the wrong decision.
And affecting others near.
It may have only been just over 8 weeks,
But you really left an impact.
The grief, the regret, the hurt.
I'm hating all the flashbacks .
Did I make the right decision?
Should I have chosen you?
I would have loved to have had the chance to have properly met
And often think I'd try and take everything back
if I could.
I often ask myself what if?
And think how different things would be.
Oh how I would just love to hold you in July
And have you next to me.
Things will never be the same my baby,
I miss you each and every day.
And even though the last tests are fading,
I'll always remember you and that day.
Even though we were only together for a short time
And others never knew.
I'll remember you for the rest of my life
And miss and love you more than you'll ever know.
One of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make and unfortunately
I can't take back what I did.
It's something I'm going to have to learn to live with for the rest of my life,
wish the circumstances had of been different
and I had of put you first.
You existed and you certainly will never be forgotten.
Am so sorry that I never gave you a chance my baby.
Love you x
